Found this '08 draft. Time to post.

Incredibly NOT fair!!! So I gained somewhere between 30 and 40 pounds with Quincy. Sweet. And when she was born, I was still nursing Avery, so I thought the pounds would melt off. I exercised somewhat regularly and didn't feel like I OVER-indulged in food. Well not ONE pound came off. I'm talking somehow I magically didn't lose even the 6.5 lbs she weighed. So I started working out... HARD. Harder, longer, faster than I ever had. I did my research and worked out right. I went for 9 weeks straight/5 times a week and did not lose ONE pound. My pants still fit tight. I had some life and body changes. I weaned my toddler, got pregnant, lost the baby, and weaned my youngest. Then for the first time in three years, my body was mine. All mine. Only mine. So I began to diet. And now, 13 months after Quincy was born, I have lost 10 pounds. OH MY GOSH! It is sooooooooooo not fair. I'm so hungry. I get a little piece of pissed off when I see so many incredibly shrinking moms. But as evil as it will sound, I smirked a bit when I saw this work-out-aholic at the gym keep her pooch for months after having her baby. She didn't retain any weight, just that POOCH. Wrong of me, I know. But I recently went to my mom's family reunion and I think I have found the answer. Damn genetics.

The terrible twos

I know why they call it the terrible twos!!! I'm just going to say it. I never knew the true meaning of annoying or frustrating until I had a two year old. And (hopefully) like most parents of toddlers, I wonder if I'm a terrible parent or have a problem child. I have way too many "did that just happen?" moments. Like when Avery woke up grumpy from a nap throwing a fit for "pink ice cream". He must have a had a dream about it because ... . So Michael and I literally ransacked the kitchen looking for pink food coloring to dye our vanilla ice cream. All the while holding a screaming child. We get the ice cream made (brilliant) only to have him scream at us that he didn't want that pink ice cream. I'm sure it didn't match that dream image. Or how he screams at his friends and hits and pushes them and can easily go to time out ten times within an hour's visit. Or how he begs for soda at a drive through so we make an additional order once reaching the window and hand it to him and he yells "I don't want that soda!" Let's talk about the time he asked for a blue sucker at the bank drive through and when given a green one through it at me. Sometimes he'll walk into the room while Quincy's sleeping and yell in her face or jump on her right after I've worked so hard to get her to sleep. Of course she wakes up and he happily says, "Baby's awake now!" I don't even want to start on the night time antics. Coming to our room in the middle of the night trying to climb on me and stick his hand down my shirt. Screaming and kicking and of course waking Quincy. That's just the tip of the nightly iceburg. Then there's the antics when he gets in trouble. "NNNNNNNO! YOU GO TO TIMEOUT!" I love that little boy with all my heart and ALL my energy. We're doing our best to figure out this crazy changing jigsaw puzzle of a child. We're getting stricter and smarter, but he continues to rock our world. Hopefully I will read this to him in 14 years and it'll be such a distant memory and maybe he'll be such an angel that no one will believe it. At least he's got his charm and good looks to pull him through for now!

Ramble Ramble

I've had lots of thoughts lately. I always do. Michael says I think too much. But I just want a semi private outlet to document. Maybe at some point I'll write something exciting. We'll consider this brainstorming until then. My thought for the day is this: there's too much to do. I have to feed the kids, exercise, do my calling, clean the house, diet, cook dinner, read scriptures, budget money and time, be a companion to one and a friend to many and try to live life. Not to mention that its primarily my responsibility to "raise" (understatement) 2 responsible people. It is my job to teach life skills, scholastic skills, and spiritual skills from the ground up. If feels like I take a step forward just to take 2 steps back. If I leave the house alone for a couple hours, its destroyed! I'm overwhelmed and discouraged more often than I'd like to admit. I see helpful hints in magazines, the web, and books. I chat it up with friends and get pumped about some great idea to organize my life. And it seems that I always always always fail on the million goals I set for myself. I've had this thought many times, and its back. Here it is: the scriptures promise that if we put God first, the rest falls into place. So my MAIN goal should be my spirituality, in whatever way I choose to tend to that. Then maybe I can become a contributing member of society. Phew!